‘The Inventory of Goodbye’ – Anne Sexton #7

What better title to end the series.

I have a pack of letters,I have a pack of memories.
I could cut out the eyes of both.
I could wear them like a patchwork apron.
I could stick them in the washer, the drier, and maybe some of the pain would float off like dirt?
Perhaps down the disposal I could grind up the loss.
Besides – what a bargain – no expensive phone calls.
No lengthy trips on planes in the fog.
No manicky laughter or blessing from an odd-lot priest.
That priest is probably still floating on a fog pillow.

Blessing us. Blessing us.
Am I to bless the lost you, sitting here with my clumsy soul?
Propaganda time is over.
I sit here on the spike of truth.
No one to hate except the slim fish of memory that slides in and out of my brain.
No one to hate except the acute feel of my nightgown brushing my body like a light that has gone out.
It recalls the kiss we invented, tongues like poems, meeting, returning, inviting, causing a fever of need.
Laughter, maps, cassettes, touch singing its path -all to be broken and laid away in a tight strongbox.
The monotonous dead clog me up and there is only black done in black that oozes from the strongbox.
I must disembowel it and then set the heart, the legs, of two who were one upon a large woodpile and ignite, as I was once ignited, and let it whirl into flame, reaching the sky making it dangerous with its red.

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